Are you a young woman dating an older man? Or maybe you are just starting to date and are being approached by many older men. In either case, you need to be more cautious and concerned than when dating men of your age. It is true that older men are generally more mature in their thoughts and more balanced in their lifestyle. Yet, it is also important to figure out whether they are actually compatible with you or just temporarily infatuated.
Here are five things to keep in mind when you date older men.
5 Things to keep in Mind When Date Older Men
Figure Out What He is Looking For
It is common knowledge that many old men feel attracted towards younger women because they are going through a mid-life crisis. This means that they start feeling ‘older’ and because they are unable do deal with their loss of “youth”, they want to date younger women to make themselves feel better. This is unhealthy for both the younger woman and the older man himself.
I am not saying this is definitely so with the person you are dating or thinking of dating. However, since this phenomenon is very common, it is better to find out what he is truly looking for. If you are looking for a commited relationship, is he looking for one too? Make sure you both are looking for the same thing – otherwise you may feel cheated and wronged one day.
Right at the start of the relationship, share with him your honest thoughts about the relationship and where you want it to lead. Then encourage him to share with you his thoughts. If you sense that he is very uncomfortable and not willing to talk about the future, put your foot down and be assertive. Common goals are necessary for the relationship to flourish.
You Need to be Respected As Well
Older men are generally able to handle their emotions well and they may help you feel comfortable in their presence. However, make sure you both are still equals in the relationship. If you feel that the other person is talking to you in a condescending way, be assertive and define your boundaries.
Any relationship in which one person has the upper hand will be unstable in the long run. No matter what the age difference is, both of you need to respect each other’s thoughts and beliefs. Make sure the age difference does not affect how you are treated in the relationship.
Make Sure He is Honest With You
Honesty is important in any relationship – especially when it comes to a relationship between an older man and a younger woman.
Be honest right from the start and enocurage your future partner to be honest with you. Since he is old, he may have had relationships in the past. Be receptive to what he has to say and allow him to share details of his past. Make it clear that you want both of you to be very honest in this relationship.
If you feel that he is hiding something from you or refusing to tell you a lot of details about his life, re-evaluate whether you want to be in the relationship. There have been many cases of married men dating younger girls telling them they’re not married. I am not saying this will happen to you – but it is upto you to ensure honesty in your relationship, right from the start.
Dating Rules For Women
5 Tips For Dating A Younger Woman
Tips For Dating A Divorced Woman
Great Dating Ideas
Relationship Matters In Dating Older Men
Compatibility is Very Important
Research indicates that just as older men are attracted to younger women to ‘prove’ themselves, younger women are attracted to older men because of a sub-conscious longing to be cared for and loved unconditionally in a fatherly way.
However, a relationship based on sub-conscious cravings alone does not last very long. This is because, before long compatibility in values, thoughts and beliefs comes into the picture.
When you date an older man, make sure the way his view of life is, is not very different from your own. Figure out what your core beliefs are first – and then make sure they match with what your future partner’s core beliefs are. For instance, what are your dreams? Do you want to have kids? How important are finances to you? Find out more about yourself – and make sure the person you are dating has atleast some common beliefs.
Don’t let sub-conscious attraction take over deeper concerns. Make those deeper concerns conscious by thinking about them or better still, writing them down in detail.
Take it Slow
The best bonds are built slowly and naturally over time. Real life is different from Hollywood romances because there are many challenges in real life relationships. When the age difference between you and your partner is large, these challenges increase.
Therefore, take it slow. Get to know your date better before commiting to a long term relationship. Remember that falling in love is one thing and living your life with someone is another thing completely. Give the initial passion some time to subside so that you get to know the other person better. The slower you take it, the better you will get to know whether the other person is right for you or not and the happier you will be in the long run.
Well, so those were 5 important things to keep in mind when dating older men. While, these 5 points do make it seem like you need to be super-cautious while dating them, you may actually end up meeting Mr Right while dating an older man. Older men are not necessarily bad for you. However, these tips are still important because of the general trend about older men dating younger women.
Some caution exercised now may help you discern whether the older man you are dating is only interested in a self-gratifying fling or truly interested in you as a person. The point is: go slow, be aware of your own intentions and that of your date and don’t let passion completely sweep you off your feet. All should be well.